Day 8 post op

First Visit Back to the Surgeon

Today was my first check up since the surgery. I twiddled my thumbs the entire way to the clinic, which is about an hour from my house. My ears have changed since the surgery. They react differently to altitude changes now. Will I never have to yawn like a fool to get them to pop anymore? They seemed to by popping quite regularily on their own.

The whole way, I was cranky.

I was snippy.

Called Gypse a Jackass several times.

I was afraid of how my face was going to react when they took out the bands that are holding my mouth cemented shut. I almost feel like my jaw is going to just hang down, lifeless, swaying back and forth by a thread. *shudder*

Shake that thought.

It really wasn't bad at all. Aside from not being able to say who I am, or say I was heading to the washroom, all was well.

I stealthfully cried when he cut the bands out and handed me a toothbrush and some mouthwash. Good thing they left me alone in that room for awhile. I had to wipe away several tears. The whole thing was strange. I have someone else's lower face. It feels completely foreign. I tried to get the toothbrush inside my mouth to finally get my tongue scrubbed clean (and oh my freaking lord was it NASTY) but apparently my mouth refuses to open more than about half an inch. Another alien feeling. Not being able to open your own mouth. I have to re train my jaw. My mouth was shaking like a leaf. I couldn't talk. I don't know where to put my tongue, or how to move my mouth when I speak. No different than being wired shut, really. I felt a little bit stupid.

The doctor came in, put my bands back in. Wired shut again. But not so tightly. I am allowed to take them off when I want to eat, or clean my mouth. But otherwise, the bands STAY ON. The liquid diet continues also. Chewing is 100% forbidding. I'm too afraid to anyway. There's a lot of strange clicking and creaking in my bones.

Apparently my orthodontist is taking over from here. There is no need to go back to see the surgeon unless I want to. Maybe this will go by more quickly than I realize.

　

Roll on a couple of hours, and I'm sitting at home. Way less cranky, I feel like there is a weight lifted off my face, just because I CAN take off the bands if I chose.

The kids go to bed.

I'm excited to clean my mouth.

Yay!

Off the the bathroom, baby toothbrush, toothpaste, tongue scrapers. My rubber bands.

Off they go!! But I still can't get a baby brush in there, but that's ok, I'll make due for now. It'll get better. I can't force these things.

Time to put the bands back in. The doctor showed me how. Took him less than 20 seconds. Piece. Of. Cake.....

Right?!!!

WRONG!!

I couldn't get them back on. My mouth is still swollen, it's hard to peel back my cheek to hook them up! Not to mention the incisions are all along my gumline almost to the front.

That's where I lost it.

I went mad. Insane.

I sobbed like I don't remember the last time I sobbed like that.

I wailed loudly. Everyone in the house heard it. Including Gypse who was sitting in front of me looking stunned.

I was stunned at myself for losing it like that.

And I just couldn't stop. But I am so thankful to have my husband there to pull me back when I'm losing it. And my son. My 5 year old boy wonder who heard the commossion, came in and with the most worried look I've ever seen on his face, handed me his Tigger and told me that it will be alright. God I love my kids. They're amazing.

And with that, I pulled myself together slowly, and with Gypse's help, got those bands back in where they belong!!!!

Such a traumatizing experience! I don't want to take them off anymore!

I'm so glad I go in to the orthodontist tomorrow. I hope this gets easier.

It will.

I know it will.